Rita Rudner's Quotes

Rita Rudner's Quotes 26

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes....

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five....

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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up...

A man will go to war fight and die for his country. But he won't get a...

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for...

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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I want to have children but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me...

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually it's...

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've...

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't...

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've...

Before I met my husband I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few...

There are different kinds of humor some is sarcastic some introspective....

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want...

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

To attract men I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

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