Woody Allen's Quotes

Woody Allen's Quotes 40

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any...

I am thankful for laughter except when milk comes out of my nose.

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It...

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

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I am two with nature.

If my films don't show a profit I know I'm doing something right.

Right now it's only a notion but I think I can get the money to make it into...

Money is better than poverty if only for financial reasons.

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Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in...

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately it's the...

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

Not only is there no God but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

To you I'm an atheist to God I'm the Loyal Opposition.

As the poet said 'Only God can make a tree ' probably because it's so hard...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my...

If you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

If my films make one more person miserable I'll feel I have done my job.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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